Anthony Dream Johnson once said, “In a relationship, as a man, you either lead or be misled.” (Anthony Dream Johnson’s real name is Anthony Paul Johnson. He is an ambitious man and we really admire his wisdom when it comes to being a leader in dating and relationships).
Also, James Marshall famously said, “Everything we teach in the pickup community doesn’t work on Asian women.” Well, as a matter of fact, if you are a real leader in a relationship with a Chinese woman, the pickup community’s leader strategy will work really well.
• Lead with intent. When you meet a Chinese girl in the street, two things may happen:
1) If you are a foreigner living in China, the Chinese beauty may look at you because you’re different – she doesn’t care whether you mind that or not – in a way, Chinese beauties are much more relaxed than westerners in many situations.
2) If you see a Chinese lady in the street in a western country, she won’t look at you & if you want to get her attention, you have to show your intent clearly very early in the interaction; otherwise, she will run away because she fears strangers.
For example, you can approach her from the side rather than behind her so that she is less guarded. No one likes surprises from strangers from their back in the street. When you are about to approach her while walking next to her, you can let her see your smile first so that she becomes more receptive. Then you can use your pickup lines such as “Just now I noticed you and I think you are really pretty. I would regret if I didn’t say hello to you today.” Because that’s a genuine compliment, she can’t tell you off (she would feel flattered – she spent 1 hour carefully choosing her outfit and doing her makeup in the morning, so she deserves a compliment from men). This opener is a good example of leading with intent because it shows your intention clearly – you aren’t selling her anything because you are not a salesperson in the street; you want to talk to her because you really believe she is beautiful, i.e. sexual attraction. In this way, you are leading this Chinese woman to the direction that you want to go to, i.e. a man-to-woman interaction.
• Have an instant date. If the initial conversation goes well, you can suggest having an instant date with her. You shouldn’t say, “Shall we stand in the corner and talk for a while?” (that sounds creepy because the girl from China doesn’t want to be murdered in the corner of a street). Instead, you can just casually say, “I’m going to a coffee shop over there. Their coffee is seriously perfect. Would you like to come with me?” (Make sure the coffee shop is only 1 or 2-minute walk from your current location so that the lady from China wouldn’t feel weird about it.) Because the coffee shop is a public place right in front of her, she will probably say yes if she thinks this interaction is positive and exciting. When she says yes, you know it’s on.
• Why the instant date is important: Chinese women respond to confidence. Please note that women from China aren’t thinking about feminism at all because they actually expect men to be leaders in relationships. Most Chinese beauties aren’t looking forward to becoming the next Julia Gillard, so they still want to date masculine, alpha, powerful and confident men. Now since you are asking her to have an instant date with you, she knows you are confident. Having said that, you don’t have to specifically say, “Oh, this is an instant date” or “This is our first date”. That’s because girls from China like spontaneous men. Therefore, this instant date in a coffee shop is paramount – it shows your intention, confidence and spontaneity at the same time. It sets you up as a leader in the dynamics. (By the way, it’s always better to approach Chinese women in a street where there are many places you can have instant dates, e.g. coffee shops, ice cream shops, galleries, etc.)
• What to say on the instant date: Men who are successful with Chinese ladies are usually good at talking. That being said, it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be a consummate comedian or a talk show host in order to get Chinese girls. Actually, if you are too good at talking, this skill might backfire because when a beauty from China is interacting with an extremely professional talker, she will become more guarded. A professional talker sounds like and looks like a salesman who is selling cars to her. And that’s not the right image you want to present in front of beauties from China. Hence, you can do something more effective. For instance, you can say, “I ask you a question, then you ask me a question.” This will give you two a lot to talk about on the instant date, so you won’t run out of things to say. Of course, you need to prepare some good questions to ask, e.g. “What do you enjoy doing?” “If you can remove one thing from your life, what would that be?”
• What not to say on the instant date: In the pickup community, there is a well-known pick-up line: when you are buying a woman a drink, you say, “I’ll get the first round, you can get the second.” This line works well on western women because western women want to be chosen, but western women don’t want to be bought. And it saves you money as the same time! However, if you ask a Chinese girl to buy you drinks, chances are you won’t be able to keep her in the long term unless you two have had a very long shared history together and the emotional connection is super strong (e.g. you two grew up together). Certainly, if you are only looking for a short-term fling, that’s perfectly fine – you can go Dutch with this Chinese lady. Another possibility is many Chinese women living in western countries are filthy rich, so theymight be happy to go Dutch with you or even consider having a male sugar baby – I know a woman from Taiwan in her 50s. She is dating a guy in his 20s. Culturally, women from Taiwan are also Chinese & she is clearly a cougar dating a toy boy. Her toy boy is with her for her money, power and status. By the way, I’m not saying Chinese women want to be bought in general; what I’m trying to say is women from China also want to be chosen, but they don’t want to be used by men. They want to date leaders rather than losers, users and abusers.
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