Money is important. Love is also important. But which one is more important? According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, security is more important than connection because human beings can’t chase emotional connection when there is no security. Obviously, money is more important than love. But we can’t say that in public in mainstream culture. That’s why we have been conditioned to say that money doesn’t matter as long as there is love.
Yet people are aware of the fact that money issues are the No. 1 reason for divorce in almost every country in the world.
• Love can’t trump human nature. There is an old Chinese saying which goes like this, “The couple did actually like the two birds of the same forest that flew away separately when the disaster impended.” That is to say, yes, love is very important and we all want it, but at the end of the day, when our security is in danger, we will choose security because we need to survive before we can enjoy love. Whenever a financial problem happens, the human brain’s fight or flight switch is turned on and has to make a decision quickly. That’s called anxiety. No one can enjoy a relationship when they live in anxiety. That’s why love can disappear, although it really existed previously. Yes, when your hot wife loved you, that love was true; when she doesn’t love you anymore, that’s also true.
• Love has a life and love can die. The mainstream culture doesn’t want to talk about the end of a relationship, but that’s actually a very important topic. Ending a relationship doesn’t mean the relationship isn’t meaningful. It’s just a part of the life cycle of your beautiful love. So, there is nothing wrong with breaking up with your hot girlfriend, as long as you think that’s the right decision for yourself – you are the most important individual in the world, not your sexy girlfriend. In contrast, money doesn’t have a life cycle and can’t die. If you have a property, that’s your asset forever as long as you don’t change the owner of the property. Also, if you have the skills to make money, these skills are your bankable assets forever as well.
• A marriage that lasts for a lifetime isn’t necessarily a successful marriage. Previously, I talked about why ending a relationship isn’t always a bad thing – that relationship also brought value to your life. And sometimes getting a divorce is an intelligent and wise thing to do because that means you know how to protect yourself really well. Now I’d like to talk about why maintaining a marriage forever can be a bad thing: I know some couples that don’t get divorced because of various reasons, but they are so unhappily married. When they pass away, they will be buried together because they will never divorce each other. Apparently, that’s not an example of a successful marriage. By contrast, money that lasts for a lifetime is still good money. You can use your money to invest in real estate or the stock market and make more money for yourself. You can give a lot of money to your children at the end of your life. That’s still real money.
• When you have more money, you have more opportunities to meet higher-quality people that can be converted into your marriage partners. In order to meet the rich, you have to invest in the process – that’s just like your business expense if we can say managing your love life is just like managing a business. No matter it’s flying first class in order to meet rich women/men or going to expensive cruise trips in order to find a rich partner, you have to be able to afford those activities in the first place. Otherwise, you won’t even have access to rich people. When you are in those luxury situations, you clearly have more options in terms of finding the love of your life. More options lead to higher-quality options. Lack of options leads to bad options.
• When you are married to the right person, your money will grow. Byron Tully famously said, “If you want to be a rich guy, don’t date sexy women that you know you won’t marry.” What he is trying to say is your time is your most important asset because you can always get your money back, but you can’t get your time back! Therefore, a lot of rich guys don’t date hot women that they know they won’t marry anyway. Most rich men focus on their careers, and that’s why they are so rich. Having said that, not everyone wants to become a billionaire or a multi-millionaire. It’s perfectly okay to enjoy life and make $80,000 a year while dating multiple women because life is a journey & you only live once. Clearly, you are at your prime between 20 and 40 in women’s eyes, so don’t miss out on this precious window if you decide to date as many women as possible. At the end of the day, it’s all about what you value and what you don’t value. As long as dating hot girls makes you happy, you should go for it because life is all about finding happiness.
