Interracial dating may be a challenge in the beginning of your relationship, but it will be a blessing at the end. We are all products of our family upbringing. When that family does not include racial diversity it is a challenge to break with family tradition and try interracial dating. When you find the right partner, race does not matter and the differences in culture will enrich your resulting relationship.
Once you are in a serious interracial relationship you don’t think about it. You become as oblivious to the race factor as you are to the blend of coffee you drink in the morning? If that made you think about what blend of coffee you drink every morning, then you can understand how race does not enter into your daily thoughts until someone else mentions it.
Why do people start dating outside their race?
There are as many different reasons for interracial dating as there are different people. Love is often mentioned, by those actually in the serious relationship, but how did we get there from our original cultural background? Here are a few ways.
Young people are innocent. Early in our school lives we do not know that people of other races are “different”. An early years friendship may turn into a serious interracial relationship as time passes.
A friend with a partner from another race may introduce you to her sister. Often that leads to interracial dating.
When traveling during your vacations you may be exposed to people from different cultures and races. A holiday hook-up may lead to an interracial relationship.
There is one reason that is not typical, but it is the one that racists tend to fixate on. There is a mistaken belief that people in interracial relationships cannot get a date with someone from their own race. I call BS on that one.
Are there benefits to interracial dating?
Every relationship has benefits. The common threads of love, respect and sexuality extend across the boundaries of race. Relationships between people of different cultures and races can take the best of both worlds and combine them for a richer experience.
When you grow up dating the girl next door and your families share the same culture, race or color makes no difference. If your partner is raised in a different culture there may be added benefits.
Take the case of an Asian girl marrying an American Caucasian. Many North American ladies value independence with a trend towards career and away from traditional marriage. A lot of Asian girls are still marriage minded and want the traditional husband and a house full of kids. If you are the Caucasian male with the goal of a traditional marriage you will see this as a benefit to interracial dating.
Who is prejudiced against racial dating?
Many races have a prejudice against dating members of other races. The stereotype of white people, who do not want their daughter to marry a black guy, is just the beginning.
Chinese traditionalists are examples of people who do not want their race mingling with others. Some racists are black and do not want their offspring dating white people. The funniest ones may be the brown ladies from Philippines who do not want to date a boy who is a darker shade of brown. All of these are cultural biases for reasons long forgotten.
Perhaps some people act racist from jealousy. Could it be that the handsome man or the beautiful lady in the interracial relationship is desired by the one making the racist comments?
The common threads of love, respect and sexuality extend across the boundaries of race. Relationships between people of different cultures and races can take the best of both worlds and combine them for a richer experience.
How do you deal with racists?
When you are involved in a serious interracial relationship you will have the misfortune to encounter racists. Some of these bigots insist on making rude comments that they find humorous. The important thing to remember is that you cannot fix stupid. Thus the best response is often to ignore the fool or smile and suggest he or she have a nice day.
It is not always possible to ignore them. Some fools will get right in your face and demand to know why you are dating someone from another race. If you cannot bite your lip and let it slide you will have a lot of stress to deal with over the years. Try to find social groups of like-minded individuals to vent with and have a laugh about it.
Are there other problems?
Race is often linked to specific culture and religion. Make sure you understand your partner’s roots. Is she religious? How will it make you feel attending her church full of people from her race? How will they accept you? Will she be hurt if you reject her beliefs? Then there is family. Some races are clannish or tribal. How will you feel attending the family reunion? Will you be accepted? Does she expect her family members will be living with you? Ask these questions so you are not surprised once it is too late.
There will be the question of where you live. When you are in a serious interracial relationship you will probably live in either the lady’s culture or in the man’s. In either case, one of you will have to deal with more race issues than the other. Make this decision carefully. Are you bringing a dark skinned lady to live in a white neighborhood? How will she deal with it and how will your friends and neighbors act?
Alternatively, you may be the white skinned male moving into a racially diverse neighborhood. Is that a challenge for you? It probably will be when you first start out, but it gets easier in time.
Family pressure may be a problem. Some families do not easily accept other races into their inner circle. You cannot change everyone else’s attitude and sometimes you just have to accept it and move on. If this happens to you, then you may not be as close to your family as you once were. Can you deal with that?
Should you try interracial dating?
When the relationship is mature, and you are alone in your room, you will not even remember that you have a partner of a different race. All of the problems and situations mentioned in this article are meant to inform, not to discourage you. If you are attracted to someone and you want to go out with her then do it. Don’t let race, color, or culture stop you from trying. Allow these challenges to make your relationship stronger as you deal with them together. Have fun and keep dating!
