No, this article isn’t about showing you how to become a people pleaser. It’s not about teaching you how to please your Ukrainian woman either. In fact, it’s about building a satisfying relationship so that your Ukrainian lady will want to make you happy. I have interviewed experienced daters from SimplyDating.com, a popular Ukrainian women dating website – and their insights might surprise you.
Be the leader in your relationship.
• If you have learned Salsa or Tango before, you probably know that in order to dance well, the guy has to be able to lead; otherwise, the girl can’t dance properly. As a matter of fact, there is even a dating coach who literally teaches his students in a dance studio through demonstrating how to lead well while dancing with women, thereby helping a man’s body to feel the right feelings at the same time. Indeed, as a man in a relationship, you either lead or be misled. “The leader in a relationship is actually the decision-maker. I don’t mind proactively chasing Ukrainian women because when I chase women, I’m the decision-maker who can make things happen,” says Sam L., an international dater from SimplyDating.com, “At the beginning of a relationship, a Ukrainian lady definitely wants to be chased by a man because that makes her feel attractive and it sets up the right dynamics in a relationship – the man is the leader and decision-maker, so this Ukrainian beauty respects him, admires him and wants to be with him.” Moreover, in his book Game: A Cure for Loneliness, George Massey writes, “Everything in life can be defined by cause and effect. Most people live their lives at the effect, rather than at the cause. Much better exist as the cause rather than live your life at the effect. When I approached a girl for the first time, I was the cause. I created the scenario; she was the effect of me – that makes me feel like a man.” (This comes from the most thought-provoking chapter Being a Man in that book.) Obviously, the ability to be the leader in a relationship with a Ukrainian girl is paramount. When she knows you are a confident leader, she will want to please you. This is especially true in the Ukrainian dating culture in which men’s masculinity is highly valued.
Reward good behavior; punish bad behavior.
• As a leader in your relationship with a Ukrainian woman, you would be well-advised to reward your Ukrainian girlfriend’s good behavior and punish her bad behavior. Yes, we all know that when you reward your girlfriend’s good behavior, she will behave even better in the future because that’s called “positive reinforcement” in psychology. For instance, after your Ukrainian stunner has given you a good time in the bedroom, you should take her out for dinner in a respectable restaurant. In this way, she will want to further please you in bed in future. Now you are wondering why punishing her bad behavior will actually make her happy as well, right? Well, in the short term, punishing your Ukrainian girl’s bad behavior won’t make her happy. But in the long term, that’s the most effective way to make her happy. Let me explain. When your Ukrainian girlfriend is flirting with another guy in front of you, you have to punish her bad behavior. After that incident, you should say this to her, “What you did tonight is just such a turn-off. I don’t know why you did that & I have to point out that something like this should never happen again because that is not why I want to be with you.” Now what she has heard is:
1) She turned you off by flirting with another guy – Ukrainian women want to turn their men on, so this is bad news.
2) You have the right standards in your relationship and those are your non-negotiables – this will make her respect you even more.
3) She must meet your standards; otherwise, you will rethink this relationship and might change your mind.
Now you can just give her a few days to process what you’ve told her. Please note that most girls from Ukraine want to have stable relationships, so they certainly don’t want to rock the boat. In this way, your Ukrainian woman will change her behavior and love you more in the long term. In contrast, if you become jealous after that incident, her bad behavior is actually rewarded, because she knows that whenever she wants your attention (jealousy is a lot of attention), she can flirt with another man. Therefore, rewarding her good behavior and punishing her bad behavior is the best way to make her happy so that she will make you happy. “Women from Ukraine appreciate honesty, so honesty is the best policy,” says Frank W., another member from SimplyDating.com, “Rewarding good behavior and punishing bad behavior is the most honest thing you can do in a relationship with a Ukrainian woman. That’s exactly why my relationship with my Ukrainian girlfriend is so sweet, stable and sustainable. We have been together for three years and we are going to get married this year.”
Always present a 3D version of yourself.
• Many men only present a 2D version of themselves in their relationships. By that I mean these men have different personas in life. For example, a guy looks extremely charismatic, ambitious and professional at work, but when he is at home with his wife, he becomes lazy – conversations are getting more and more boring; they only talk about logistics in life; his wife can’t even feel his passion. That means he presents a 2D version of himself at work, and then presents another 2D version of himself at home. His co-workers don’t know he actually wants to talk less and focus more on his individual work; his wife doesn’t know that he can be very animated and charming. Further examination reveals that this phenomenon is very common among western men in this day and age, because a growing number of men face a lot of stress at work and in life& they tend to present a 2D version of themselves. Actually, research shows that having different personas in your daily life only makes you even more stressed, because you have to switch between different versions of yourself every day. Thus, if you’d like to make your Ukrainian girl happy, you have to present a 3D version of yourself, i.e. you would be well-advised to show different aspects of your personality in front of your woman from Ukraine. “Every week, my Ukrainian girlfriend and I have a date night on Saturday, and that’s when I become very romantic,” says Bill K., another experienced dater from the leading Ukrainian women dating site SimplyDating.com, “But from Monday to Friday, I don’t want to spend my energy on anything romantic, because I’m very growth-driven and only want to spend my time on my business. And that’s okay, as my Ukrainian beauty can see a 3D version of me. She says that’s why she finds me very attractive – she always learns something new about me and our relationship is characterized by exploration and discovery.”
I’d like to thank the most reliable Ukrainian dating website SimplyDating.com for sharing these insights with us on our blog. And if you like this article, please share it with your friends who are also into meeting Ukrainian women and building beautiful relationships.
