First Gay Date (Part 1)

First dates are nerve-wrecking and fun at the same time. Chances are, in this day and age, you probably met online in a chat room or on a dating site or mobile application. This is the new normal as anyone under 30 already knows! So no need to feel shy and moreover no-one else knows, so why let it bother you! I talk to a lot of guys who feel very apprehensive about this means. Do the maths, if 10% of the population is gay are you going to ask out 10 hot guys in the hope that one could just potentially be attracted to you if you are lucky…  It is all about spreading a wide net and anyone who doesn’t use apps or dating sites is just limiting their options. Even in these open and liberal times it is unlikely for a guy to ask another out whom he met randomly on the street or the like and if either of you were introduced by some friends, good luck! (it may be so that the only things you have in common are your sexuality).

Even in these open and liberal times it is unlikely for a guy to ask another out whom he met randomly on the street or the like and if either of you were introduced by some friends, good luck!

But you HAVE a date. So you better decide when, where and more importantly, what will you do.

To deal with the most important first, it is imperative that you choose something ‘normal’ for first dates. So many people go overboard on the first date, ending up with having overspent to try and show off some supposed affluence. This is completely the wrong idea, long before the date are first impressions met (unless it’s a blind date of course) so ask yourself ‘Am I saying/doing this because I want to or because I usually do it’. Or are you trying to present a person that is not you, not in your tax bracket and not sustainable if there are any further dates down the line. The bubble will pop eventually so you need to start day one as ‘I am’ not ‘I wish I could be…”

Keep it simple! Stay safe!

First and foremost meet in a busy public space, a train-station or the like. You may end the night on a long quiet road but don’t start there. This shouldn’t need explaining. For the actual location it is best to start with something simple. It will of course depend on how much you already know the person before meeting them. If it really is a first date and you know little about eachother it is perhaps best start with something to eat, this will give you the time to get to know them and not feel rushed as you leisurely eat your food. It is usually advisable to not drink so much, if anything, to start with. Regardless of whether you think you can handle it, he may not be able to and even after 1 beer or glass of wine the effects start and while it is nice to talk more freely and openly, again you (and he) are trying to paint a picture of who you are, which is not the superman you feel you are after half a bottle. Also by not drinking at dinner it allows the opportunity to perhaps visit a bar later. It is pretty strongly advised to NOT visit a gay-club, perhaps a quiet bar, but do you really want to find your wandering eye being cast around the room, it certainly would be a big turn off it you spotted his!