Online dating has completely changed the dating game and has made it much easier to find and connect with other single people. While not ever introduction ends in love, it is an improvement from the traditional dating methods. However the system is not perfect, online dating comes with a host of problems.
I’ve heard many horror stories of women showing up on a date only to realize an hour in that their dinner companion is a complete psycho. Then there is the situation where someone falsely represents themselves in a photo. We have all heard a story of a friend showing up to a date and being shocked by the difference from the profile picture to the real deal.
Here is the thing online dating is a place where millions of people gather, so of course you are guaranteed to run into more than a few crazy people. But this does not mean that you should avoid dating sites, you just have to aware of the downfalls and how to best deal with them.
Stood Up
Being stood up is always a possibility and this should just be accepted when entering the online dating world. However it does not have to be a horrible experience, there are ways to minimize the hurt. First tactic, try to agree on a location close to where you live. This means less cost and time spent travel in the case of a no show. If you and your potential love interest live hours away, agree to meet in the middle. Nothing is worse than driving 4 hours only to be stood up and then forced to drive back home alone with your thoughts. Both people should be eager about meeting and not be bothered about the travel. If someone is unwilling to meet you in the middle this is probably a sign they are not that great of person or not that invested in meeting you. Next pick somewhere you actually like to frequent and bring a book. That way if your date is a no show you can still have a good time by spending a few hours reading and enjoying some food or beverages.
Lastly nobody enjoys being stood up, it really hurts. But remember being stood up is on them, not you. Do not spiral into negative self-talk and do not start feeling like you just missed the last chance at love or worse that you are not loveable. That person was just a jerk with no manner. End of story.
People seem to feel comfortable spilling their entire life story to someone in a message box but when it is time to meet in person they totally break down.
Unable to Pull the Trigger
People seem to feel comfortable spilling their entire life story to someone in a message box but when it is time to meet in person they totally break down. I once had a friend who dated someone over the phone and through messenger for a year. Once it was time to finally meet the person disappeared and my friend never heard from them again. We spent hours discussing why this person fled when it was time to finally meet. We never found out the answer but it didn’t really matter because the relationship was over. What mattered was that my friend did not make the same mistake again. When you start an online relationship make sure you set a date to meet in person right away or relatively soon. You do not want to waste time and energy on a relationship that never actualizes. If geographically it is impossible to meet right away have a skype chat and this way you can still confirm that the person is who they say they are.
In the Flesh Disappointment
People lie all the time and this true on and off the internet. So it is inevitable that at some point you may encounter an over embellished profile. There really is not much you can do to avoid this situation; however you could request a skype chat before you meet in person for the first time. You could use the disguise of wanting to see the person before meeting in order to avoid that awkward moment of trying to pick them out in a public place with only a picture in mind. That way if you see a striking difference between the photos and the real deal you can call of the date.
Double Dipping
Ever heard the saying, “once a cheater, always a cheater”. Well I think we almost need a similar saying for serial online daters. I have heard countless stories of women and men getting into relationships with people on dating sites and then catching them back on the same dating sites pursing other people. The temptation to go back online to search through the catalogue of the interested and willing, is just too much for some people to resist.
Some sites have sections where you can see what people are up too and this is a great way to determine if your man or women is still activate on the site. If you are dating someone who says they are serious, but you catch them viewing profiles, or sending messages, it is best to call it quits. This person clearly is not that into to the relationship.
Technology has improved our lives a 100 fold but it does not mean it is clean sailing from here on out. The key is find ways to maximize the benefits that can be gained from technology while reducing the chance of hurt and pain.
