Keen on my daughter? You have to follow these strict rules before you make a move. This is NOT a joke.
Rule A: Before dating my daughter, you must get past me first. (I said must, not should.)
I’ll find out what type of guy you actually are before you hang out with my daughter. I will ask you a large number of specific questions and make sure you know that my beautiful daughter is the most special girl in the world. You’ll certainly get to know me when you get to know her.
Rule B: I may read your text messages if you text my daughter.
No, I will not be nosey, rude or obsessive about text messages. However, if my daughter’s phone is on the kitchen table & I see she’s got a new text message, I might take a look at it. Please make sure you are definitely, absolutely okay with me reading your text messages. Incidentally, my daughter hardly ever takes her phone to bed after 10pm.
Rule C: You have to man up with good manners.
The majority of young men want to be James Bond, a very cool and slightly distant guy. Nevertheless, if you’d like to prove that you have completely, totally understood all the rules for dating my daughter, you’ll treat her like a real lady – You will pay for the dinner, get the door for her, and so forth. You must be very respectful and well-mannered.
Rule D: You must have a real job.
You write “entrepreneur” in your Instagram profile? I do not care. Even if you have 10 “Internet businesses”, I still do not care. You must have a real job. If you don’t have one, you cannot date my daughter. Period.
Rule E: Do not assume I’m on your side whenever you argue with my daughter.
I’m on my daughter’s side for the rest of my life. It’s your fault, always!
Rule F: I will make you disappear if you don’t treat my daughter right.
My daughter is my princess. This is a non-negotiable. End of story.
Rule G: I make all the rules.
Every rule & regulation in this document is made by me – my daughter’s parent. You cannot change the rules or regulations regarding dating my daughter.
Rule H: Your hands must remain above her lower back. (Again:must, not should).
Be a gentleman at all times when you are spending time with my daughter!
Rule I: Please fill in the form below (Application to Date my Daughter).
Your full name: _______________
Your ID No.: __________________
By filling out this form and signing it, you give your 100% consent to a global police check.
Print name: ________________
Top 5 Dating Rules for Men 35+
On a separate sheet of paper, answer these questions in full sentences with correct English grammar and spelling:
- List your two heroes& provide specific rationale.
- Explain why John Kennedy is not a hero in the dating department.
- Write a 300-word academic essay which discusses why Will Smith is a true (Note that this is the most paramount question in this form Application to Date My Daughter).
- What are the last 3 non-fiction books you have read?
- What are the last 3 fiction books you have read?
- What are the last 3 biographies you have read?
- Have you read The Bridges of Madison County?
- Do you agree with this statement? Give your rationale.
The Bridges of Madison County reveals the truth about attraction and chemistry as well as the realism of an average marriage in America.
- Explain why Taylor Swift’s songs are bad for young women. (After filling out this form, explain your reasons to my daughter in detail – this has to be done before you date my daughter.)
- Explain why Celine Dion’s songs are good for young women. (When you submit this form, you must explain your specific answer to my daughter immediately. This is the prerequisite of dating my daughter as well.)
- Check any of these interests or hobbies you enjoy:
- Doing household chores
- Doing the dishes
- Outline 3 goals you have right now and provide relevant rationale as well.
- Outline your daily rituals that help you achieve your goals.
- List your strengths and weaknesses
- List your fears
- Explain the meaning of “I am late”.
- What’s your action plan if my daughter wants to see Titanic with you?
The Application to Date My Daughterwill be processed officially and then returned back to the applicant within 2 months. If there is a question that I need to ask you, I will certainly, surely contact you immediately. If there is a question that you need to ask me, please email me: [email protected] I will respond to your email within 24 hours if I confirm you’ve 100% understood all rules in this document.
This form is for internal use only.