6 Signs You May be Dating an Over Thinker

Problems of critical thinking for dating
Critical thinking and dating

Limited conservation

The first sign that you may be dating an over thinker is their little contribution to conversation. At first you may wonder if your date is rude or even worse totally disinterested in you, but fear not as on the inside this over thinker is probably having crazy thoughts, emotions and second-guessing everything they may want to say. A classic over thinker may look at you intensely, seem as though they’re about to say something, and then nothing comes out. This is normal and if you can get past the first few awkward moments or dates you will be fine. Plus you should take it as a compliment because if they were not over thinking every possible thing that came out of their mouths, this would probably mean they are not that interested in you.

Nothing, nothing, ok too MUCH INFORMATION!

The second hint you may be dating an over thinker would be the transformation of limited conversations to awkward over sharing sessions. Sporadically an over thinker will get the courage to speak up; unfortunately it usually turns into a lengthy unavoidable over sharing hearing. Beginning with something simple like their love for football, can turn into a rant about husbands abusing their wives. As they try to dig themselves a way out of football talk and abusive husbands they end up tacking on more information and only dig themselves deeper. Ultimately they stop by announcing they have to go get another drink and sharply exit leaving you to standing alone and confused.

Chronically saying stupid things

If an over thinker is interested in you, chances are they have spent much of their day crafting a flawless, seductive way to welcome you. Do you remember that perfect line in Mean Girls when Lindsay Lohan is approached by her crush and asked if she would like to go to a party? Due to over thinking her response was an unknown word- grool. She than explains to her crush that she was going to say great, then she was going say cool and in the end she landed in the middle with grool. Completely embarrassed she shuffled away with her head down. This is a mistake made by many over thinkers. Despite hours of time spent thinking and practicing the perfect greeting, an over thinker usually burst out with something either silly or stupid. However you must remember, if you are greeted with a “grool” take it as a compliment, they like you.

Same Place, Same Time

If you are wondering, “Why do I keep running into this person all the time?” it is a screaming red flag that you are dating an over thinker. Over thinkers plan almost everything they can in order to be in full control. Do you have friends in common? If so you can guarantee that they probably texted your mutual friends and sniffed out parties and gatherings to get the full details of the guest list and time of anticipated guests arrival. Once they know who will be where and when, they plan accordingly.

Bringing up your social media

Almost everyone these days checks out all social media pages of the person they are beginning or planning to date. For an over thinker this experience can be chaotic. Trust that an over thinker will of course, over think all posts! If you find your new partner is always asking why you posted something. Or pushing to find meaning in basics posts which are one level and simple,  you are defiantly dating an over thinker.

The key here is if you don’t want your new partner to know something, do not put it on social media. This will save you plenty of fights and arguments in the future. Over thinkers will read into everything you have posted. If it’s unclear, they’ll wonder who it is regarding. And guess what; most times they will think it is about them. So when dating an over thinker, post with caution.

Into the details

Over thinkers are generally good at logistics. For example planning and scheduling dates and outings. Over thinkers will go over ever possible situation and make sure they have planned accordingly. They can even take a step further by creating back-up plans just in case something didn’t work out. If this is your new love interest, than you are in luck, as you probably will not find yourself lost with no food or water. Although it could become annoying as the planning can be time consuming, but this is who they are and they can’t help it. In order to reduce stress for both parties make sure that all details you are responsible for are well thought out and taken care of.


Moral of the story, focus on the small details before you make judgement. Your new partner may seem rude or a little awkward but hey that can be charming at times. Once you have proven that you are indeed dating an over thinker make sure you are conscious of your choices. Everything you do is going be heavily considered and be thought about…and thought about. Be straight forward and patience and your new romance will be just fine.

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