A well-known marriage counsellor famously said, “If people can’t forgive their spouses’ affairs, very few couples can stay married for the rest of their lives.” That’s shockingly true. Statistics show that 20% of men and 13% of women reported that they slept with someone other than their spouses – these people admitted what they’ve done, and most people will never admit their affairs! Now you have got the gist – affairs are more common than you think.
- Once a husband has cheated on his wife, will he be a reoffender? Well, the answer is yes and no – it depends on the situation. If a man proactively looks for affairs because he needs more fun and excitement in order to be happy, then yes, he will be a reoffender. However, if a man cheats on his wife because he couldn’t resist another woman’s temptation, then chances are he isn’t going to be a reoffender, especially when this guy really doesn’t want to leave his wife and wants to protect his marriage, family, money and status.
- Who is more likely to cheat on their spouses, men or women? Research shows that men are more likely to cheat on their wives or girlfriends because in most relationships, men’s libido is generally higher than women’s. Some experts even claim that monogamy is actually against human nature and is especially difficult for the majority of men. Indeed, monogamy has begun to become popular only a few decades ago in influential countries like China. As to western countries, there are many couples who actually live an interesting lifestyle – they either have open relationships or enjoy threesomes all the time. Because open relationships and the threesome lifestyle aren’t common in China, China has the highest cheating rate in the entire world. Aren’t these facts saying anything about human nature?
- Men want to cheat more, but women cancheat If a man cheats on his wife, he uses his sexual energy elsewhere and has less to contribute to his wife at home because his sexual energy is relatively limited. However, if a woman cheats on her husband, she doesn’t lose her sexual energy at all – she can do it multiple times per day without a problem! Also, the female sexuality is contextual, so women can be easily aroused anywhere, any time. Some women can even be turned on when they are seeing the sunset or a beautiful flower. Unbelievable, but true. No wonder so many women take revenge on their cheating husbands quickly.
- How should we define cheating? We have interviewed many dating coaches and marriage counsellors in the United States and the United Kingdom. These experts have different opinions, but here is a list of some very interesting and helpful viewpoints:
1) Cheating means having a sexual relationship with someone who isn’t your spouse.
2) Cheating also includes seeing someone else regularly, even without sleeping with that person.
3) Cheating also includes watching porn because that’s still looking at other people when they are naked.
To be more specific, we have also consulted with several lawyers in Australia and New Zealand & interestingly, lawyers in these countries claim that when an individualis seeing someone else regularly (even without having sex with that person), that’s also cheating according to the law. Nevertheless, different countries have different laws. For instance, in Taiwan, you can only claim that your spouse is cheating on you when you have solid evidence to prove it, i.e. you must catch your spouse when he/she is actually having intercourse with somebody else. Otherwise, you don’t have real evidence!
- Is having an affair illegal? Previously, adultery was illegal in countries such as South Korea. But recently, South Korea has changed this law. Now adultery isn’t a crime anymore. In the past, the No. 1 reason for divorce in Korea was money problems because most people dare not to cheat on their spouses. But now the No. 1 reason for divorce is probably cheating behaviour. The strange news is cheating behaviour is always the No. 1 reason for divorce in China & money is always the No. 1 reason for divorce in western countries. Apparently, that means western countries have more open relationships and threesome lifestyles than China. Furthermore, in most western countries, having an affair is definitely not a crime. For example, if someone has an affair in Australia and then gets a divorce, the fact that this individual had an affair doesn’t affect how the judge allocate the asset in this family, i.e. the husband and the wife still divide their money into 50/50. In contrast, if someone has an affair in China and then gets divorced, the judge will give more money to the victim of that affair, meaning the person who was cheating always gets less money during property settlement. But that doesn’t mean cheating is illegal in China because it’s still not a crime. Yes, it’s wrong, but it’s not a criminal offence there. Even there are consequences caused by cheating in China, China still has more cheaters than any other country when it comes to the percentage of cheaters.
In conclusion, different countries have different rules and regulations. Because the family law in Australia doesn’t punish cheaters, cheating behaviour is quite high in Australia, as evidenced by the fact that millions of Australians have joined the internationally well-known cheating website Ashley Madison (by the way, there are only about 23 million people in total in Australia and approximately 1-2 million Australians are on Ashley Madison. How mad is that?!) Moreover, according to Ashley Madison, Australia is the only country where there are more cheating wives than cheating husbands. Perhaps that means Australia is the only place where slut-shaming doesn’t exist? What is the cheating situation in your country? Have you cheated on anyone? Have you been cheated on before? I’d appreciate it if you could write a comment below and share your viewpoints. Don’t worry – you don’t have to write down your real name here, so you can share your true thoughts with real freedom.