Dating Russian women – lust or love? Coping with false fears.

russian bride, russian datingLove and lust are rather inseparable companions, very often it is a rather demanding task to draw a definite distinction line between the two. For instance, you are browsing an articles section on an online resource, looking for a Russian dating advice and – bingo! – you switch to the profiles section and see a lot of gorgeous Russian brides online whom you simply want to eat up, both body and soul. Wait before going any further, let alone communicating with these women, until you finish reading this elucidating article.

Love and lust are, indeed, a rather tricky amalgam of two emotions that overlap rather often. However, in the initial stage of our getting to know anyone, let’s be crystal honest about it, lust is the primary driving factor. You eyeball an attractive lady with long legs and a pretty face on the street or on a dating site, and your heart goes boom. You are hooked. Here is the truth – more often than not it is pure lust and all you want is to have sex with this particular person.

There is a widely spread misconception about the “love from the first sight”. While we don’t fully dismiss the idea as such, we would caution you from believing in it without a sound skepticism, even if you insist on it. Just give it a thought – you are attracted only to the physical appearance at the very first moment, since you know nothing about this woman as a person at this particular juncture.

Actually there is no need to downplay the importance of lust. This strong physical urge makes us take the first steps in the right direction – we take certain efforts to find ladies and to communicate with them. Love is a much stronger and more enduring feeling than lust, but lust is also needed as a component in the complex courtship “procedure”. Ultimately lust is driven by the desire to procreate and to raise children, but of course our brain doesn’t recognize all this at once when assessing the “data” about a sensuous woman on a dating site or IRL.

If you don’t develop strong emotional ties with the object of your intercourse aspirations, you will fail to have a long-lasting and fulfilling relationship. That said, it doesn’t mean that you will not be able to enjoy the pleasurable moment while it lasts.

But emotional engagement and romance are more strong and more durable than mere lust. Gradually you will be getting to know the person, learning about her hobbies, dreams and aspirations. In other words, you will be able to fathom the personal character of your lady. In our humble opinion, ideally online dating on our Slavic dating site should bring you to marriage and to forming a happy family full of adorable kids. After all, this is ultimately what dating is about – creating a meaningful family.

Armed with this understanding, you can look for your romance and love more courageously. Our advice is – don’t fall victim to your lustful desires, it is so easy to let them slip out of control altogether. Search for true love, because only true love can ultimately bring you real happiness.

This road has many bumps and abrupt curves, but it is worthwhile embarking on it. Bear in mind that it may take time to nurture a deep relationship, a strong bond between your two loving hearts and minds.

What to avoid when searching for love online

Seasoned online daters know that there are many pitfalls they should be able to avoid when dating ladies online, including on Russian4Bride.com. The general rule is – don’t rush ahead with your feelings, weigh each candidate carefully and take into account all the minor personal details.

This one is hard but can come in real handy – don’t loose your mind over a particular Russian lady till you get to know her better, till you spend a lot of time with her on Skype and over the phone and so forth. Of course, nothing can substitute a real meeting, so be sure to set it as the final goal of your online dating experience.

False fears in dating Russian women

Even after you determined that it is not just lust, but a true love on your part, you still may have many fears about this new feeling. Have you ever jumped into water as a kid? Do you remember the first time you did it? I am sure it was an exhilarating experience, and also, most likely, like all other kids who did it for the first time, you hesitated because you were scared. Most people are scared to do something for the first time in their lives. And this fear in most cases is false and irrational. This is how the human brain works – we are always scared to take the first step, even if there is no danger in sight ahead – be it a real danger or even a perceived one.

You probably haven’t paid a lot of attention to it, but the same can be true about our relationships with women, the Russian women not being an exception. We are afraid of violating some non-existent Russian dating rules or are just overly timid in expressing our feelings. Fear may cloud our mind to the point that some simple, logical and truly safe steps may look to us hazardous and even life-threatening.

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Don’t get me wrong here – feeling fear is perfectly normal for any conscious human being, sometimes fear is essential for our survival. But you have to differentiate between the real fear of an impending danger and the false fear in the face of the unknown, which can be rather safe, this unknown. For instance, of course you will feel fear if you see a huge tiger suddenly jumping at you on a highway. This fear may save your life because you will run for it as fast as you can. An example of the irrational fear – there are many people who fear darkness even in the comfort of their own home and cannot even fall asleep without their lights on. I am sure you know such folks personally – there are so many of them.

So, in your dating a Russian woman it is essential to determine which of your fears are real and which ones are false and should be disregarded as such. This will enable you to take a courageous leap into a genuine love in a meaningful relationship with a Russian lady. Meanwhile, let’s examine the false fears that you may have while searching for your love among beautiful Russian brides on an online dating site.

It is too late for me to be searching for a soul mate. It is surely a wrong statement – love always conquers age. In some cases there are 80 y. o. people still having courage to look for their true love, in other cases people who are younger than 25 succumb to this defeatist attitude. So, this is a truly false fear that you simply need to overcome.

I think I just don’t deserve love. What? Why is that? What makes you such an unworthy person? You have to bear in mind that there is not a single person on Earth who “deserves” love or “doesn’t deserve” it. This is a very complex mutual feeling that sparkles between two individuals, there are no special credentials that may entitle you to love. There are many single and broken-hearted celebrities who are stunning in their looks and who have as much money as they want. There are also crippled invalids who are poor, physically unattractive and yet loved tenderly.

I think I have some fundamental, deeply rooted flaws that will make me unattractive to any Russian lady who dares to know me closer. Oh, come on, you are such a whiner. Please remember that there is no such beast as a flawless person. We all have our drawbacks and deficiencies, but terminal cases are indeed very rare.

Some fear is actually a good thing – no one likes indolent men overly confident in everything they say or do, and Russian women are not an exception in this. However, don’t let irrational fears overcome common logic and sound judgment, let the objectivity prevail and make you a successful suitor of gorgeous Russian brides.

 

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