Single and looking for love? Always remember the non-negotiables when you are on a dating site. Make sure you know how to have high standards that are also realistic!
- In your online dating profile, honestly lay out all your key requirements upfront.
A lot of online daters find it hard to lay out their real standards and requirements as they are introverted or shy. Maybe they assume it’s impolite to be really blunt when it comes to what they really want. Another reason is many people think if somebody is the right person, this person knows what’s expected automatically.
Those are common mistakes in online dating, for if you lay out your standards 5 months into a real relationship, or 1 year after you have slept together, or even 2 years after your wedding, the relationship will have real problems.
In other words, your romantic partner needs a road map for how to behave so they can understand how to rub you in the right ways. When your romantic partner irritates you, you may ask this question, “Is this because my partner does not respect me or because my partner does not know what is expected? Did I communicate my standards to my partner?”
If your romantic partner is a decent individual, they will respect you at all times. But if you didn’t give them the road map, then they cannot read your mind!
So, you would be well-advised to lay out your real standards in your online dating profile on a dating site. Here are 2 typical examples:
‘An ambitious entrepreneur looking to meet an attractive, trustworthy and intelligent lady who prefers an open relationship and Buddhism & is able to treat my kids well.’
‘As a hardworking woman, I’d like to meet a handsome, humorous, hardworking guy who is looking forward to a monogamous relationship.’
The above-mentioned two examples are wonderful dating profiles because they include exactly what these daters want. Very honest and effective!
- Date offline and communicate your standards quickly.
When you meet someone suitable online, you should ask them out fast so that you can date offline effectively. For instance, on the first date, you may tell this woman that you are looking for an open relationship / a serious relationship / a casual relationship / an arrangement. Your honesty would be much appreciated.
If this lady is late for the date, don’t say “I don’t like that”, you may say, “We’re all busy because time is precious. Just now I went out of my way to be punctual as I think punctuality is paramount. If I’m going to be late, I would call you as soon as possible.” Now this woman will understand your expectations in this regard.
Let’s say neither of you mentioned whether you want an exclusive relationship or not on your dating profiles. In that case, you can say, “Honesty is the best policy. If I would like to date other people at the same time, I would let my date know what’s going on upfront so there is zero confusion or misunderstanding. And if exclusivity is something I’m looking for, I would be honest from the start as well.”
I understand that some of these requirements are inappropriate on dating profiles because many mainstream dating sites don’t encourage people to look for flings (they expect everyone to look for traditional relationships). So, you have to talk about your standards clearly on the first date.
Tips for Improving Your Online Dating Profile
- High standards, realistic standards and unrealistic standards:
If you tell a woman that you need intimacy every night, dinner on the table after work and clean clothes in the wardrobe, that’s what you’ll get as long as she actually loves you. Nothing less, but certainly nothing more.
Yes, it’s your duty to tell her what to do and what not to do.
Basically, high standards are things that can satisfy you deeply and these things are tasks that your girlfriend does not mind doing!
By the way, you can check out your lady’s standards by looking at her dating profile because chances are her standards are listed there!
In terms of realistic standards, let me show you some examples:
- If a man is an 8, he should date ladies who are 7’s or 6’s, because ladies who are 8’s or above 8 only want to date men who are 9’s and 10’s! Sad but true. Due to evolution, all women are “gold-diggers” (read: hypergamous) and that’s old news. Well, technically, women are looking for providers and there is nothing wrong with that. To be more exact, these women are not real gold-diggers who only get cash and leave quickly.
- If a man makes US$30,000 a year, he should date women who make less money than him because most women who make more money would want to date up. Sugar mommas are as rare as female unicorns.
“Do not have unrealistic standards because only practical daters can have successful love lives.”