4 Tips to Help Better Understand an Introvert

Approaching an introvert
Dating an introvert

Have you ever stopped and pondered the disposition of the people around you. Have you ever encountered people in which you thought “why do they act in such a strange manner?” If you answered yes to either of those questions- congratulations you are a human!

Dating requires you to meet strangers and slowly overtime figure out how these strangers work and what makes them tick.  This is a huge task and for most it can be very difficult, confusing and overwhelming. When you first start dating an introvert, this task can be even more difficult, especially if you are an extrovert. Introverts can be hard to figure out and it can be challenging to determine how to navigate a healthy relationship if you are an extrovert and your new partner is an introvert.

The good news is, dating an introvert can be easy, but you must be aware of few key characteristics of your introverted partner has and what they truly mean.

Silence Does Not Equate Disaffection

A dissimilar style of communication is the first sign of an introvert. Generally introverts keep quite most of the time. When first getting to know an introvert this can feel strange, as the beginning of most relationships involve a lot of talking in order to get to know one another. An introvert’s limited contribution to conversation can make you feel as though you are doing all the talking and even worse it can feel as though your partner is simply just not that interested in you. However when dating an introvert this is not true. Introverts usually are not naturally chatty and you can’t bank on them spending all afternoon filing you in on every moment of their lives. On the bright side when they do speak up it is important and worth being heard. So when your partner is silent, trust that nothing is wrong, this is just their personality.

Less Intense Conflicts

Introverts are not known for having huge blow out fights and this means if you are dating an introvert intense conflict will not be an issue in your relationship. Introverts rarely act or speak recklessly. Introverts need plenty of time to reflect on situations and when reflection is complete they will be ready to talk in a calm and matter of fact manner. In most cases you will have forgotten about the argument by the time your partner is ready to talk. This can become annoying, as you may feel as though they don’t care enough to even fight about it any given problem. Once again this is not true, they do care but they do not express their feeling in rash ways. If you are looking for the best way to resolve a fight with your introverted partner adopt patient manner and try to speak in a normal tone. Explosions and passionate shouting will generally cause an introvert to shut down.

Introverts Need Time to Re-Charge

If you’re dating and introvert it will quickly become obvious that they will never be the life of the party. Nor will they ever enjoy being the last people leaving the party at the wee hours of the night. It is not that your partner lacks the skills to be a party animal or is unable to confidently express themselves; they just find socializing to be draining. Introverts will usually expire after a few hours of partying and they will need to recharge by having alone time. Providing your partner the time to recharge and strengthen their energy is crucial to the success of your relationship. Quietness and solitude are vital things they will always need. You should not minimize this and also try not to take it personally.

Introvert Can’t Be Pushed Out of Their Shell

One of the most common misconceptions is that introverts are shy people who need to be pushed out of their shells. This is simply not true, much like an extrovert cannot be quieted down and made to be passive, an introvert cannot be pushed to become chatty and outgoing. Being pushy is the quickest way to end your relationship with an introvert. You should avoid urging your partner to do be more outgoing or exciting, especially in social situations. When you get the urge to change your introverted partner flip your point of view and imagine your partner trying to change you. Would you enjoy someone always telling you to tone it down or be less conversational? No, of course not and this is important to remember when dealing with an introvert. The best solution is to simply accept your love for who they are and leave it at that.


Any relationship has the potential to be great and it’s your responsibility to make your extrovert-introvert relationship just that. Much like most relationships, it requires great work, mutual efforts and cooperation. Understanding and negotiation will help your relationship become successful and fulfilling.

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